Thursday, March 3, 2011

Positive Adoption Lingo

As we started in the adoption process there were many things to learn and figure out how they applied to us and our situation. In my case I take to books and reading as much as I can for the situation.

One of the blogs that I came upon is Que and Brittany's Adoption Journey. There have been several times when I have been reading her posts and been overcome with the how similar my own feelings are or that we have had similar experiences thus far. We want to do an open adoption which is still a new concept for most. I know when we first started getting serious about adoption the concept of an open adoption was frightening, beyond what we thought we were capable of. I was thinking that maybe we should do international adoptions so that we wouldn't have to deal with birth parents or birth families. 

The more we have learned and the more people who have open adoptions that we have talked to, we have come to love and accept that it truly is in the best interest for the child to do an open adoption. Love, love, love what child has too much love? The child gets to know why adoption was chosen, who the birth parents are, who they look like or why they do some of the things that they do. They get to ask questions, and get answers from the source. How amazing is that? No shock at finding out that they were adopted because they have known their whole lives about being adopted, they have known their birth mother and hopefully birth father their whole lives as well, they know about any additional siblings and for them it is absolutely 100% normal. They would not know anything else. 

OK that brings me back to Que and Brittany's blog....she has done a number of posts on what is considered positive adoption language/terms. She has done such a fantastic job of explaining the different aspects of terms like biological mother vs. real mother and placed for adoption vs. given up.  Since there are many that are not familiar with these terms please check out her posts. With open adoption there is so much to take in, to learn and to handle on a long term basis we would love all to be on the same page and understand the different terms as we do.  

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